the unraveling of me, part 1

please excuse me for a second
i just need to clear my head
so there's no more expectations,
yes, i think they'll soon be dead.
stay a while, please, do help me
with this clearing of my mind,
all i need is your attention,
yes, i think that should be fine!
first let's start with reputation,
i've a nasty one for sure,
always doing as i'm told,
i would never cause a stir.
i would never be disgruntled
nope, just smile all the day,
life is happy and i know it
or at least that's what they say.
i'm naive as my face makes me
and as childish as my size,
i couldn't think a mean thought,
nope, not even if i tried.
i've a cheery disposition
drenched in colors oh so bright
i've a temperament so peaceful
i could never pick a fight.
i'm a cute one, just adorable!
you can't match this childish charm!
and for that, i need protection
so i never can be harmed.
well the truth is i've been hurting
from the undercover me,
i am hiding ugly demons
with this this innocent facade
demons steeped in opposition
to my every wholesome whim,
i love colors of the gloom,
dreary fog gives peace within.
i can utter spiteful words
though i try to hold my tongue
and i know more than i'll tell you,
i just like to play along.
life is more than simply happy,
there's dimension, it's not flat,
it is filled with joy and sorrow,
and mediocrity at that.
true, I am not one for conflict,
but the thought of fighting back
can grow strong enough to make me
launch an introvert's attack.

-D.B.
5/6/2013