of obstacles to fate

painted on
and curled
the waves of ocean
turn to foam
that sprays
the land with water
crashing into
rocks
on their way to the shore
interrupted
on their course
by the grand and sullen doors
of the shoreline's first guardians
the ocean draws into me
and i to it
but doors hold fast
so tightly knit
so neither i
to the ocean
can go
nor the ocean
to me
can come.

-D.B.
3/29/2014 & 4/4/2014

saved

i've no grace
else what you've given
and to that point
i'm in a debt
that man can't pay
for he's a sinner;
you paid the price.
i've been saved yet.

-D.B.
4/3/2014

of gates and pleading

gates that guard the ocean

standing tall

and daring me

strong 

of iron

wrought

in fire

hot

from coals

that burn 

eternally.

my fate

to enter

through these gates

the ocean's vastness

open please

i call

but nothing happens

so i bid it

once again

open please

but it stands there

strong and tall

i fear the gates

their silence

piercing

blocking out

ocean's call

open please

i bid again

they stand there

mocking me

and so i turn

in fury

turn again

to face 

my newfound enemy

i yell

open now

they stand there

silent they

stare at me

and so i cry out

open now

and still

they stand there

sullenly

i wrap my fingers

round the rails

and shake the gates

with all my might

and scream out

open open open!

but still

they do not heed 

my call

open open open OPEN!

i plead my case

but then i fall

OPEN

open

open

open

black indifference

stands its ground

my futile tries

seem foolish now

for though i tried

was not enough

a gate is mindless

it pays no mind

to beatings

words

heartfelt screams

gates see nothing

but have a lock

for just one key

which i have not.

-D.B.
4/2/2014

youth

seize this youth
like a flower in bloom
opening in spring
reaching for the sun
a rose petal
amidst its many peers
covered in dew
sweet honey drops,
fresh roots and buds.

-D.B.
3/25/2014 & 4/1/2014

orchestra of the heart: drowning

with that beginning note
starts the memory of the heart
seventeen notes later
the strangest pangs will start
the song brings back a memory
of something that you've lost
a time that you won't have again
and so you take a pause.
and as you listen to this song
those pangs will pierce your soul
they'll soon become addicting
and your heart will pay the toll
but amazing how those blood-red notes
assault your heart like darts
they course right through your pulsing veins
and infect your beating heart
with feelings known from times gone past
they're liquid now
they're flowing fast
the notes pour in
your heart is drowned
in pools
of blood-red liquid sound.

-D.B.
11/15-16/2010 & 1/2011

reposted with a few minor edits and a title--after posting turning, I realized that it had a similar theme to this one and so i decided to make them part of a series: "orchestra of the heart."

purification

i'm drowning in a desert
and nothing's making sense
my world is turned upon me
as i reach up my hand
above the waves of golden grain
that rain on me like fire
crashing down in waves that scourge
and bruise me without tire
my lungs are drenched with desert sand
as the dunes grow ever higher
upon my shoulders they build for me
a murky, hidden pyre.

it's caught me in a whirlpool
of unprecedented heat
the anger that's within
comes from my burning, my defeat
it brews around as hurricanes
that will themselves to grow
and boil and froth more misery
as on their path they go
through oceans of insanity
and seas of salty doubt
that seep into my every wound
searing and stinging throughout.

i know not why i'm in the ocean
nor why i'm in a drought
nor why i seem to be forgotten
when i'm crying out so loud
i am drowning in a desert
and burning in the water
i cannot grasp, can't understand
this paradox, this hour,
but if i'm here i ask of You
to purify me now
to cleanse me of my bitter sins
and make of me a tower
wrought of that which is sublime
of joy from sadness grown
of misery to loveliness
of beauty turned from woe.

-D.B.
3/9/2014

round and round and round/into the breeze

round and round and round i go
where i'll go,
nobody knows
but only in heaven
and i'm here on earth
with my head in a rush
from going round and round and round
wandering throughout my head
i've gotten lost again
it's a dangerous place
and i can't stand
no i can't stand
i have to spin
round and round and round
and never ceasing
always twirling
chaos follows
gets mixed in
throwing paint into the breeze
till it splatters in the air--
i know how to paint with all the colors of the rainbow
i just don't know how to paint them with an aim
my arm is bad at judging where to go when
throwing paint into the breeze--
and now i'm spinning--
the paint is blurring--
my head is pained--
a tornado of color--
i gasp for breath--
it's moving towards me--
and i fall down--
and i can't move--
i can't get up--
i'm lifted up--
my head is spinning--
the colors consume me--
my thoughts consume me--
and now i'm thinking--
and now i know--
that going round and round and round
always catches up somehow
and now i've done it
once again
i've torn myself down with my paints
while throwing thought into the breeze
they mixed and swelled with utter ease
and now they've come full circle here:
they mixed and came out utter fear.

-D.S.B
3/2-3/2014

of dead ends and candles

dead leaves.
dead trees.
all i see
is another dead end
lit by the light of another candle.
what's left to do
but turn around
ask God for help
once again
be washed clean
once again
take a chance
once again
that all will be well
once again
and over and over
it keeps coming back
i'm at the start
just like the past
another candle's lighted wick
burning bright with hope
and so
i follow my new flame
down
down
to the end of the wick
as i wander deeper
down
into the length of another road
all my heart and
all my hopes
burning bright inside a flame
this one may just be eternal
and'll lead me to myself
at last

and then it goes out.

just like the rest.
i've hit a dead end.
once again.
i'm surrounded.
dead leaves.
dead trees.
all i know's
there's another dead end
and i need another candle.

-D.B.
2/4/2014

cookie cutter series: part 1

i was not formed
like the cookie cutter shapes
that you try to fit me into
in the world you call reality
i'm not so cut and dry
made with a straight-edged knive
jagged blunt and rusty
is more descriptive of the style
a cloud with pale blue lining
soft and soothing from the looks
it lines a mounting plume
of insurmountable despair
pairing drops of deep compassion
with temporal hidden grief
and a lesser known oration
of injustice-fueled rage
that builds in rolling fashion
making mockeries of your shapes
weaving tales of desperation
through the tales of pure deceit
wound around desire for 'freedom'
brought about by non-belief
in the Maker who released us
from our own eternal grief

-D.B.
1/17/2013

a bird is flying

tree to tree

she'll never stay long

but she'll never be free.

-D.B.
12/12-13/2013

orchestra of the heart: turning

can you hear my heart turn
as it palpates to the beat
of a song so sweet
but steeped in the past?
it draws on the strings
of my heart and mind
makes me yearn for the times
when i first heard their sounds.
i move to the rhythm
and sing off the beat
while the songs just repeat
and i'm lost in the music
i'm lost in the music
and song after song
i yearn for what's gone
and forget what i have.
forget my new song
forget naught but
a song so sweet
that draws at the strings
breaking the seams
steeping my mind
in the times of the past
sweet song after song just
moving to the rhythm
palpating to the beat
and my heart turns again
my heart turns again...

-D.B.
12/12/2013

words

my thoughts are mine
as such
my words are mine
they form
inside my head
they brew
a storm
of pure emotion
mixed with thought
a dash of inspiration--
thank you God--
i give life
to words
because
they yearn
for freedom
full release
from my head
because
they swirl
in spirals
outward
pressing out
against my skull
moving
to my mouth
and out
or else i keep them
in
and then
they move
to my heart
and strike
a chord
or else i keep them
in
and then
they move
to my fingers
spirals
create
force
of highest energy
it transfers
to the surface
either paper
or the screen
visible
at last
they scream
wanting
to be heard
and
at last
i am relieved
of
beauty.

-d.s.b.
11/13/2013

peaceful ultimatum

the crashing waves
quench my cravings
for a peaceful
ultimatum
to the night.
demanding
i transcribe
the words
come from my head
to the paper
or the screen
take waves
of sound
turned to
satisfying rhythm
through the fingers
i can channel
ocean's
peace.

-d.s.b.
11/12/2013

bird

i dare you to see me
for who i am
believe in me
like a bird on a limb,
who's fragile and lonely,
homeless but free,
making my way
towards the edge
on a whim,
believing i'll fly
one day to the sky,
soaring above
the earth and sea:
making my way
back to my home
joyful and free
like a bird in the sky.

-D.B.
10/25/2013

falling falling falling

a leaf is falling falling falling
falling
for a gentle breeze.
she was falling falling falling
falling
from a rotten tree.
the tree did hate her take her break her
make her
heart feel so unclean.
each branch did hate her take her break her
make her
red so she could bleed.
it thought it had her heart her soul her love
her self
within its reach.
but no her heart her soul her love
her self
then found a way to leave.
so now she's falling falling falling
falling
to a love so sweet;
now she's falling falling falling
falling
love has set her free.

-D.B.
5/3/2012