round and round and round/into the breeze

round and round and round i go
where i'll go,
nobody knows
but only in heaven
and i'm here on earth
with my head in a rush
from going round and round and round
wandering throughout my head
i've gotten lost again
it's a dangerous place
and i can't stand
no i can't stand
i have to spin
round and round and round
and never ceasing
always twirling
chaos follows
gets mixed in
throwing paint into the breeze
till it splatters in the air--
i know how to paint with all the colors of the rainbow
i just don't know how to paint them with an aim
my arm is bad at judging where to go when
throwing paint into the breeze--
and now i'm spinning--
the paint is blurring--
my head is pained--
a tornado of color--
i gasp for breath--
it's moving towards me--
and i fall down--
and i can't move--
i can't get up--
i'm lifted up--
my head is spinning--
the colors consume me--
my thoughts consume me--
and now i'm thinking--
and now i know--
that going round and round and round
always catches up somehow
and now i've done it
once again
i've torn myself down with my paints
while throwing thought into the breeze
they mixed and swelled with utter ease
and now they've come full circle here:
they mixed and came out utter fear.

-D.S.B
3/2-3/2014

words

my thoughts are mine
as such
my words are mine
they form
inside my head
they brew
a storm
of pure emotion
mixed with thought
a dash of inspiration--
thank you God--
i give life
to words
because
they yearn
for freedom
full release
from my head
because
they swirl
in spirals
outward
pressing out
against my skull
moving
to my mouth
and out
or else i keep them
in
and then
they move
to my heart
and strike
a chord
or else i keep them
in
and then
they move
to my fingers
spirals
create
force
of highest energy
it transfers
to the surface
either paper
or the screen
visible
at last
they scream
wanting
to be heard
and
at last
i am relieved
of
beauty.

-d.s.b.
11/13/2013